Percy's Incredibly Stupid Sequel
by Olympian876
Summary: Percy's back. But instead with a sequel! Yeah! Read it! Please
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I'm back early as you can see. Why? Because I couldn't stay away from writing for you. THAT WAS A LIE. The Godzilla wanted me to update quicker because I hadn't gotten out of bed all weekend I was beginning to smell. Also, note this will be my last story EVER! That's right, no more Olympian876... No more Percy's Incredibly Stupid Adventures... I'll finish this and that's it. Now I will show you why.**

This story is brought to by Percy. Because Olympian876 wanted a vacation.

In Camp Half-Blood, it was quiet... Too quiet. But suddenly, a giant figure loomed over the tiny camp. It was Percy-zilla! Greatest beast of all time! All the gods began to bow to him, "Oh great Percy! How may we serve you?"

"Make me king of the world!"

"As you wish..."

Meanwhile, the innocent author Olympian876 was relaxing on a beach enjoying a soft drink. But soon his phone started to ring. He picked up, "Hello?"

"Olympian876, I'm going to kill your ass!" A female voice cried.

"Who the heck is this?" Olympian876 answered back.

"Annabeth Chase, you moron! I'm going to kill you! Percy just wrote the chapter to make him king of the world!"

"WHAT THE HE..."

"DON'T CURSE!" A voice from Canada cried.

Olympian876 dropped his drink and flew back to his computer. He started to write himself in the chapter, "Can't get a freaking break at all..."

A rip opened up in the sky for everyone to see. Percy looked up at Olympian876's angry face, "Oh hi! How was your vacation?"

"Wasn't able to enjoy it, fool! Because you're wrecking up the first chapter of the sequel!"

"So... You didn't have a good vacation?"

Olympian876 took Percy by the neck and started to smack him silly, "Why did I let you write this chapter!"

"I don't know!"

After a few months in the emergency room, Percy came back into the fanfic just in time for the reunion chapter. The chapter where Olympian876 reunites all the characters to get their act back together. Percy was in a full body cast. Annabeth was reading a book. Grover was eating a Big Mac. Thalia was making out with Nico. Nico was not enjoying this. And Chiron was listening to Justin Bieber (OH, THE HORROR!). Olympian876 stood on a podium and began to speak, "Hello everybody! Nice of you to be here!"

"There is barely anyone here, dude." Grover stated.

Olympian876 looked around, "Where the Hades did Jason, Piper, and Leo go?"

"I think Jason and Piper got jobs as actors for a new movie."

"What? They have a contract with me!"

"Too bad. They didn't really add much to the storyline anyway."

"Well, where's Leo? Where's my funny little man?"

"I saw him abducted by aliens!" Nico screamed.

"Very funny, Nico. Sit down!"

"It's true! It's true!"

Olympian876 created a ball of energy and blasted it at Nico's stomach. Making him propel backwards and fly out of the room, "So, who do we have left? Percy, Annabeth, Grover, Thalia, and Chiron... Only five stinking characters to work with? I'll have to make due..."

"So... Can we leave yet?"

Suddenly, there was a huge fissure in the ground. And a voice cackled from within, "I'M BACK, SUCKERS!"

_End of Part 1_

**A/N: When I said this was my last story ever. THAT WAS A LIE TOO! Leave a review if you like me lying! My creativity will never run dry. And hopefully I will still be writing fanfiction to my deathbed. And here is a little tribute to those who have supported me:**

Kiss x Bliss  
>AnnabethRenesmee<br>waterflame hogwartsismydrug  
>asela23<br>THE NINE TAILS FOXBOY  
>Girl5436<br>maximumride123  
>PerfectlyPlasticPinkFlamingos<br>ImInCloud9  
>18katrina<br>ApollosFavoriteDaughter3927  
>audaciousinrush<br>The Gummy Bear OverLord  
>Dexter Kelso<br>Nightmare controller  
>Kayreeinspace<br>alexandriarulzforeva  
>Manga Girl with a Taco<br>momo347  
>joshthebold<br>minite  
>lmb111514<br>TwistedGreekNerd  
>Cloudstrife3180<br>ShawdowOfMyLight  
>DaughterOftheGrayEyedGoddess<br>Fanfic Wolf  
>xXxrouxXx<br>AwesomeASIAN98  
>Star Saturday<br>Sushi obsessed gal  
>Dylan R. Marvil<br>Saffron Drake  
>HappyAce88<br>piequeenthegreat  
>faxfan4180<br>PJO-percabeth  
>ghosthunter18<br>Cookie 1X  
>Di Angelo Grace Jackson<br>XxXTheSilverArrowXxX  
>LightningstormZero<br>morethandrama  
>conrad888<br>ELMO-fAN cLUB MeMbER  
>IamWafflesHearMeRAWR<br>Grey-eyed-owl  
>PeacexLovexPercabeth<br>Jaxin

**And the girl from Canada who screamed DON'T CURSE in the beginning of the chapter**: Flowers are Pwetty. **And very special thanks to my co-authors in Ekkhn Klann: BabyYou'reNotAlone, Manga Girl With A Taco, and maximumide123. And thank you to The Godzilla (Cookie 1X aka my girlfriend) for getting my lazy ass off the bed. I love you all. I will see you later.**


	2. Chapter 2

Grover stupidly ran into the fissure, screaming. And as he began to fade from everyone's site, Thalia screamed, "Oh my Gods! They killed Grover!"

"You monster!" Percy screamed.

Then, the voice echoed again, "Guess who I am..."

"Kronos?" Annabeth asked.

"Gaia?" Thalia asked.

"Justin Bieber?" Percy asked.

"ALL WRONG! I AM HARRY POTTER!" The voice boomed.

And thick black smoke started to rise up and a nerdy little boy stated rise up. Percy started to yell at him, "You crazy butthead! You killed our only reason to live! To beat all self-respect out of Grover! You disgust me!"

"Mwahahahaha! You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. The Potter Zone!"

Everything started to fade to black. And screams of horror.

Suddenly, Nico and Thalia woke up in a desert. Sand stretched on for miles. Thalia looked at Nico, "Oh boy, it sure is hot, Nico. Why don't you go take your shirt off?"

"Boy, do I sure miss Grover right now." Nico sighed.

"Nico, will you please take your shirt off?" Thalia asked.

"I wish Grover were here right now."

"DAMN IT! NICO DI ANGELO, LET ME SEE YOUR SMOKING HOT BOD!" Thalia screamed.

"I wonder what Grover would say if he were still with us..."

_In Nico's head..._

Grover pervertedly stares at Percy, "PERCY JACKSON, I'M GOING TO SEE YOUR SMOKING HOT BOD!"

"Why?"

_Ends..._

"Why?" Nico decidedly said.

Angered, Thalia walks away...

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Percy and Annabeth were walking in a dark warehouse. Suddenly, Grover appeared in front of them with a wand in his hand. Percy looked at him in shock, "It's Grover! And he has a stick!"<p>

"Fool! I'm am Harry Potter!" (Yes, I know I put "I'm am", I did that on purpose, don't troll in the reviews)

"Die!" Annabeth yelled.

"Avada Kedavra!" Grover... er... Harry Potter yelled back.

With that a green flash came from the stick and Annabeth fell. Percy in rage took out Riptide, "Come at me, bro!"

"Accio Riptide!"

And Riptide came into Potter's hand, "Oy! British people rock! Suck it!"

Laughing hysterically, he ran away laughing. As Percy began running after him, Thalia and Nico were right behind him, "How we got here so fast from being in a desert defies logic."

"LIKE A G6!" Thalia screamed.

A/N: Sorry for the long absence! I've been busy! School's a pain... But luckily, I will be posting regularly throughout the summer. WOO! And I must warn you, my chapters from now on might have some themes not family-friendly (minor, but it might not be approved by some people). Just giving you the heads-up. Hate me? Love me? Meh.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Readers,

Please don't hate me but, I'm not going to write fanfiction anymore. It's nothing wrong with you guys. You guys have kept me writing. It's just that I'm going into my sophomore year of high school after summer, and I really need to start focusing on my schoolwork. I'm sorry.

I was planning it for a few months now. But, this is the end. Hate me? Like me? I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore. It's been taking up my time for other things. It's important to me to get good grades during high school.

If you'd like to continue this account, PM me and I'll send you the information and you can take over this account. Just don't go crazy with it, okay?

So, yeah. I'm sorry again. I'm just moving on.

Happy Reading,

Olympian876


	4. He is now a she!

**Hello ****civilized people of the world! I am the new boss of this profile and the old one now works for me! No not really he retired. Now he told me this was good but I will let you be the judge. Thanks**

Everyone stopped. And stared at Thaila. Including ah harry.

They started singing too. And not very well I may say.

So I came over to them and yelled "shut the fuck up"!"

Everyone turned and stared.

"Who are you?" Percy asked.

"How bout you guess"

"Ahh a goddess!" yelled Thaila!

"Ah no. Do I look like one?"

"No." Said Thaila. Guess not.

"Ok the anymore?" I asked.

"A monster?" Asked Nico

"Thanks do I look like one?"

"Ah well your hair looks a little mess..."

"Oh gods shut up! That was not meant for you to answer!"

"If your not a monster or a goddess. What are you then?" Asked Annabeth. Just then Harry/Grover snuck up behind Percy. Percy turned around then did some really silly ku fu moves and yelled "oooooaaaahhuagh"

Harry just stare at him.

Then used his stick to hit him over the head.

"Hey Harry!" Yelled Thaila.  
>"If that stick is magical, couldn't you have put some spell on him and turned him into ash?"<p>

"Shut up" hissed Annabeth. "Do you want him to kill Percy? Wait don't answer that."

"Alpaca a shoo!" Yelled Harry and Percy turned to ash.

Annabeth was shock for only a second. Then the chase started again after harry.

No one even cared about me.

So I decided to do something evil. I put Justin beiber in the picture. He stop the group dead in there tracks.

"BABY BABY BABY Ohhhh!"He screeched.

"SHUT UP" everyone yelled.

"How the hell did you even get here?" Asked Annabeth.

"AHHH! Justin beiber!" Yelled Nico as if he just noticed he was there. "I LOVE YOU!" He scrammed then passed out.

"Well someone's a JB fan." I remarked walking over to them.

"Were the hell did she come from?" Asked Percy.

"I brought him here". I said. "Wait how did you get back?"

*gasps* who are you? Percy asked.

"I'm the author. Duh" I replied. "Oiy."

I made JB disappear then Nico woke up.

"Hey are you the author?" he asked

"Were have you been?"

"Passed out like you didn't know."

"But the author olympian876 is a dude your not!" Yelled Annabeth.

"NOOO shit Sherlock! Do I look like one?" I asked sarcastically

"Hey guys" Said Harry. "Remember you were chasing after me to get Grover back!"

"Hold on one sec." Thaila waved her hand.

"Did you have gender changing operation?" Asked Percy.

"Nope. I hate being in hospitals if I'm the patient"

"What then?" Asked Annabeth sounding pretty annoyed

"I'm the one taking over the firm from him after he had retired."

"Ohhhh" every one said.

"OH I GIVE UP! You can have you damn goat friend back!" Yelled Harry." If I killed him right now only emo dude would even shed a tear."

Then he disappeared and Grover was left.

"YAY Grover is back!" We all cheered.

"I can't help to notice not very much stupidess was in this chapter so far" Remarked Annabeth.

"MONKEY!" Yelled Percy and every one looked around and saw nothing but sand. (After all there in a desert!)

"Ha-ha YOU ALL FELL FOR IT." I yelled.

"Ok maybe that was really stupid..." Said Annabeth

"I wanna go home!" Yelled Percy like a winey kid.

I snapped my fingers we were in camp half blood.

"WHOA! Are you a witch too?" Asked Percy

"Hey guy why don't you guys fill me in!" Yelled Grover.

"Grover!" Yelled Nico and jumped on him.

"I have been here for a while" said Grover trying to get Nico off of him.

Just then a gold pin with some sort of bird on it fell out the sky.

"SPACE SHIT!" Yelled Thaila.

"No I think..." Annabeth was cut of by a giant bird coming out of the sky and scooped the 5 of them and flew off.

The last thing campers heard from the group was "I'M FLYING" which Nico and Percy yelled.

**Well there it is! What do you guys think? ****Read and review please**!


	5. Danmmm

**Hello normal ****minded people! I'm back with another chapter. (The new olyimpian876). I didn't get much review on the last chapter last time so please review! And nah I'm not going to change my name. So enjoy!**

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**You still here? READ!**

They landed on a bed of moss.

"Oooo soft." Said Percy and he curled up as if to sleep.

Nico climbed on top of him.

"WHAT THE HELL?" yelled Percy! "Get off!"

"Hhehehehehe!" Giggled Thaila.

"Tee hee!" Said Annabeth

Just then and arrow shot out of nowhere right though Grover. He evaporated in to dust.

"Well there goes Grover." Said Thaila.

"You know you want me!" Sang Nico to Percy as he straddled him.

"Dude really?" Asked Percy.

Percy being the only one with some sence got up and ran to climb a tree for a better view... He picked the weakest limb to climb. He reached the top then before Percy could look around the tree snapped. Percy fell off the tree. Then the tree, with a thud, fell right top off Percy. So much for common sense.

"NOOOOOOO!" Cried Nico and rushed to Percy's limp body.  
>I will give him mouth to mouth! He yelled<p>

Just as Nico's lips were about to touch Percy, His body turned to stone and cracked up and crumbled.

"What just happen?" Asked Annabeth.

"Like I have no IDEA?" Said Thaila. "Well my nails are ruined so I'm going to go look for a multi-plex." With that she left, leaving Nico Annabeth and a crumbled Percy thing.

Nico broke down in tears. "MY ONLY LOVE!" He wailed. Annabeth took a step away from him.

"Alright then..." Said Annabeth. "Guess it's up to meee." She sang. And off Annabeth skipped, into the woods.

She came across a small camp site. There was a backpack of survival gear. A sack of berries and two people curled up in a sleeping bag.

"HEY!" Yelled Annabeth, scaring the hell out of the boy and girl.

The girl jumped up and steadied her hunting knife at Annabeth's chest.

"Hey chill" said Annabeth. "I'm just wondering were I am!"

"Ok then" She lowered her knife but kept it clenched in her hand. She had long brown hair and golden eyes. Freckles were around her nose. The girl looked as if she had been attacked by a bear, bees and hunters.

"What's your name?" The girl asked.

"Annabeth" she replied. "And you are?"

"Minerva Lawson. Call me mini if you like" She said "This is Josh Rays. And Matt Spin is somewhere around here..." Minerva said.

"Nice, but were exactly is this? I mean like this just jungle! There's like nobody here." Said Annabeth.

Then the guy that was still in the sleeping bag got up, and shook my hand.

"Hello. I'm Josh." He had a thick English accent. He had black hair that was long enough to cover his right eye. His eyes were hazel. He was as tall as Minerva.

"Ello." Annabeth greeted.

Then a loud caveman howl came from somewhere in the trees. Then a teen wearing only a grass skirt came swinging in on a vine. He swung down hoping to land were we are but instead of landing he just kept going and rammed into another tree.

"That's Matt." Said Minerva.

"Ahhh" said Annabeth.

Matt waddled towards us like he was drunk.

"Owwwww." He said. "Oh who's this young lady?" Matt had brown hair that he was flipping out of his eyes and his eyes were brown. He was little taller than the other two.

"Annabeth" said Annabeth and shook his hand. "Well now can you answer my question?"

"Yup well come to Wilde man." Josh replied.

"What is that?" Asked Annabeth

"A game you have to survive in this arena. There is a tracker or 'wilde man' and he tracks them down and actually kills them. To win you have to be the last team standing. Fun right?" Said Josh.

"Right. But why are we here?" Asked Annabeth

"We?" asked Matt.

"Me, Percy, Nico, Thaila and Grover. They disappeared some time ago."

"Well we better go find them." Said Minerva.

"Lets." Said Annabeth. Then in the distance I heard a cry: 'I'm back mother beepers!' "I think I just found one."  
>Then another cry. 'Nico get away from me!' Yup, I found both of them.<p>

"Let's go" said Josh.

**Well thank you very much for reading. R&R! Love you guys. Bye the was anybody a Marianas Trench fan? I have two really important questions to ask. **

**BYEEEE!**


	6. Not so triumphant return!

**BOM... BOM... BOM! BAH BAH! BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM. (tune of 2011: A Space Odyssey)**

** The original Olympian876 has returned! The one who brought you all of his Percy's Incredibly Stupid Adventures! I've come back... What I've been doing lately is been posting on a secret unknown account (olympianarmy), although not often... Anyways, back to the story! **

Silence... Absolutely no noise... Why is it so ****ing quiet?

"OY! GET THE FIRETRUCKIN' HADES UP!" Percy yelled.

Olympian876 groggily opened his eyes and saw The Son of Neptune in front of him, "Percy? How have you been?"

"It's been too firetruckin' long since you've made a chapter featuring me!"

"You had that book featuring you... When you had that Camp Jupiter experience..."

"But it was more about that chubby war kid than me!"

"So... Rick Riordan can easily..."

"WRITE!" Percy drew Riptide and began to swing at the poor author.

"Bah! Don't hurt me!"

* * *

><p>Story continues...<p>

Marianas Trench soon ran away into the woods never to be heard again (unless from their albums or live in concert).

Now the characters are at Camp Jupiter (Placed around the end of The Son of Neptune, so no Grover and Thalia). Percy was introducing everybody to everyone, "Annabeth, this is Frank and Hazel next to me."

"Where?"

Next to Percy were two ladybugs mating, "Wait..."

"I turn people into ladybugs!" Harry screamed.

"You mean... Frank and Hazel are those ladybugs?"

"Yup!"

"And they're..."

"Yup!"

"Um..." Percy thought for a bit. Looked at the two ladybugs. Looked back at Harry, "Never mind... Oh! Here's Octavian!"

He pointed to a pale boy with a knife holding a mutilated teddy bear, he was looking around, wide-eyed and grinning crazily, "Where are you? I need you to come with me... He he he..."

A few moment later, a baby blue teddy bear came up to Annabeth and hid behind her leg, and said in a cute five year old voice, "Please help me!"

"Awwww!" Annabeth cried out, "That's so adorable!"

"Hey Octavian! The bear's here hugging Annabeth's leg!"

"Thank you, Greek boy!"

Soon, the teddy bear was taken away, "O treachery! Treachery! I am slain! Fly, Fleance! Fly!" (If you read Macbeth, you get the paraphrase)

"Then, Ella, the harpy who helped them on my journey is here!" Percy continues as if nothing happened.

"Squawk! The First Doctor regenerates! Draco is gay... and single (That's not true... Grr...) Cinnamon is good for you! Tyson has a huge eyeball! I like purple flavored things! Fezes are cool! The cake is a lie! Epic Meal Time likes bacon strips. Frasier Crane's son is half-Jewish! The identity of River Song is..."

"Okay!" Annabeth yelled, "Spoiler alert and other useless information!"

"Wait... Draco is single?" Harry asked, "I need to make a phone call..."

"Then the praetors are fighting whether or not if we should keep Harry in the series anymore... So I'm not showing you them... We met Jason, Piper, and Leo... I guess that's it! END OF THE CHAPTER!"

* * *

><p>"Wait... That's it? You abandon us for seven months and this is the piece of minotaur turd you come up with?" Percy yelled.<p>

**A/N: Ignoring Percy's rude comment, I am very glad to take pen in hand... er... keyboard on fingers again... Just to clarify some things. No, I will not be continuing Percy (another story on this account), I based it off an old friend/neighbor/coach of mine who died a few years back. And it was almost writing a biography about my training with him (I never got any buffer by the way. I still look like a 12 year old girl), so those memories are too painful to look back on. So no continuing of that! But I will be continuing this. So read and review o!n (is that a thing? if not... please do make it one)**


	7. De Rap Battle of Book Series

**A/N: This is a uncensored rap. Please keep this in mind. Thanks.**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF BOOK SERIES!**

**HARRY POTTER**

**VERSUS**

**PERCY JACKSON**

**BEGIN!**

[Percy]

I am Percy Jackson

Defeated by none

You're a pathetic wizard, Harry

Beating Voldemort, was that really scary?

Your parents are dead, your best friend's a nerd

Your idea of winning is a bit absurd

Just go back to your boyfriend at Hogwarts

Draco Malfoy, was it?

Your movies are pathetic, they weren't even good

I don't even have to try to win, I'll allow you to lose

Don't need to go to Hogwarts again, Harry

You've already gotten schooled!

[Harry]

You use a sword to win your battles, how lame!

Magic is the real way to win your games

I use the ultimate weapon, it's a stick

My wand, eleven inches, bigger than your dick

You only got five books written about you

I got seven fucking books, bitch!

So you better listen!

My name is Harry, the original Harry Potter!

Draco? Yeah right. Ginny and I raise a daughter

My movies, don't diss them, yours was even worse

People loved them so much, they filmed one extra

Now to deliver my final blow that will leave you breathless

* * *

><p>Whirring came out of nowhere. A blue box soon materialized.<p>

"Oy! I'm rapping here!" Harry screamed.

**Introducing to the rap battle. Ladies and gentlemen... and Grover...**

**DOCTOR WHO!**

[11th Doctor]

Listen you low life wimps

I, the true rapper has finally come.

Trust me, I'm the Doctor, lord of all pimps

Harry, your pretty miss Ginny. Then, Percy, that slut Annabeth

They ain't nothing compared to my record of girls

River Song, Amy Pond, both wanted to get laid

That's not even the start of my list.

I've been getting bitches for over forty-seven years!

Now that I'm here, I'll destroy everything you hold dear.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Create your own beat to the rap... So who do you think won? Leave your answer in the review things...**

****"Hey Olympian876! I want to rap!" Grover yelled.

**"NO!" Olympian876 cried.**


	8. A Crossdressing Juggling Demigod, Part 1

**A/N: This story will now have a mini-plot (A PLOT? THAT'S HERESY!) Yes, I know, it will be split into three short chapters known as parts. PART 1!**

* * *

><p><em>Part One: Harry Potter is the Woman in Black<em>

Harry Potter... Ridiculed by Percy and company... To avoid a fate worse than death, Harry must now sacrifice everything he holds dear and save his pride in his book series. They say that when people see the horrid Woman in Black. A child dies. So Harry Potter, stuck in the wrong series, decided to have some fun.

Now... Harry Potter put on a black lacy dress and put his hair into a bun. He is... The Woman in Black...

Percy and Annabeth are still considered children since they are under the age of consent to drink. So, perfect victims for Harry's new role as the Woman in Black. The Woman in Black slowly crept behind them.

"Percy..." Annabeth whispered.

"Oh, what the hell is it? You keep on talking! Shut up for once!" Percy screamed.

"There's a crossdressing wizard behind you..." Annabeth cried.

Suddenly, the Woman in Black took a Pokeball (trademark) and yelled, "Go Snooki!"

Then, an orange oompa-loompa in a zebra print mini-dress appeared and started charging towards Annabeth, "Snook, snook, snook, SNOOKI!"

A horrific sight then happened. Annabeth... Poor Annabeth, was suffocated by Snooki's Pickle Blast (here at Percy's Incredibly Stupid Sequel do not like killing characters, besides Grover, but we do find it hilarious). Percy just watched in horror. After Annabeth was up to her... um... female parts in pickles, the Jersey Shore star looked at Percy and smiled, "GTL!"

Instantly, the Woman in Black and Snooki disappeared. Percy looked at Annabeth's now dead body, "Annabeth! Noooooo! Hey, Olympian876, can I get my paycheck yet?"

"You're breaking the fourth wall!" Olympian876 yelled angrily, "Keep acting sad and you get a cookie."

"Oh boy! COOKIES!" Percy yelled, "NO! ANNABETH! WHY DID YOU DO IT? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID IT, SNOOKI! I WILL GET YOU WOMAN IN BLACK! I PROMISE! To be, or not to be, that is the question: Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer, the Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune, or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles, and by opposing end them: to die, to sleep, no more; and by a sleep, to say we end. The heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks that Flesh is heir to? 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To die to sleep, to sleep, perchance to dream; Ay, there's the rub, for in that sleep of death, what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause. There's the respect that makes Calamity of so long life: For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time... Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. REVENGE! O TREACHERY! Now can I get my cookie?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: How will this tragedy work out? Will Harry/The Woman in Black kill every demigod in existence? Will Annabeth be saved? Will Percy ever get his cookie? Probably not... Keep reading!**

**I got the idea of this plot because Daniel Radcliffe is starring in The Woman in Black. And in one of the trailers it didn't sound like Daniel Radcliffe in the Woman in Black. It sounded like Daniel Radcliffe IS The Woman in Black... So the story just wrote itself.**


	9. A Crossdressing Juggling Demigod, Part 2

As you know, Harry has taken the form of the Woman in Black... A horrifying image indeed... But back at Camp Half-Blood, where all the other unimportant characters are hanging... um... nothing's really happening there. Until Harry travels over there...

"WEEEEEEE!" Chiron screamed, "I'm riding a horse!"

Chiron, all alone with Rachel, while the other campers from Camp Half-Blood were at Camp Jupiter. Chiron happily pranced around completely nude on his lower half... Then, the party ponies suddenly heard his cry... They came galloping into Camp Half-Blood, "WOOOO! ROOT BEER! SUUUUUPER BOWL! WE ARE HIIIIIGH OFF OF ORANGE JUICEEEE! Probably weed also... WEEEEEE!"

Rachel just sat there listing prophecies while Chiron and the Party Ponies wreck havoc on the camp,

_"Seven-thousand ponies shall answer the call_

_To drink root beer or juice, Camp Half-Blood will fall_

_The centaurs do drugs until their death_

_Oh gods, help me, I'm running out of breath..."_

Rachel soon fainted from lack of oxygen... The centaurs cut down all the trees to make paper airplanes and such. Suddenly, the Woman in Black arrived. Which stopped all the partying... The centaurs looked at the crossdressing wizard. The Woman in Black took out her/his wand and started to chant a horrifying spell, "Baby, baby, baby, ooooh. Like, baby, baby, baby, noooo... I thought you'd always be mine..."

"Is he singing to himself or..." Chiron started.

"BIEBER BLAST!" Harry yelled.

A beam of purple and white shot out of his wand. The beam suddenly transformed into a bunch of screaming pink fangirls. This spooked the Party Ponies and they soon retreated, "No! Our weed! Our root beer! Our orange juice!"

But not fast enough... The fangirls suddenly started to eat the "half-man, half-asses". All that was left now was Chiron and Rachel... Chiron was now running around crying, mourning the loss of his brethren. Rachel was unhurt and came back to consciousness,

_Child of Ares, will walk the earth,_

_The Son of Neptune, shall soon give birth,_

_Leo, like Gandalf, will not let you pass,_

_As for Grover, be warned, he shall pass gas._

Harry disappeared back to Camp Jupiter. "Mwahahahahahahahaha!" The Woman in Black yelled, "Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury.  
>Signifying nothing..."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: What does Rachel's prophecy mean? Will a child of Ares walk on land? Will Annabeth get Percy pregnant? Will Leo let you pass? Will Grover fart? Keep waiting for part 2!**


	10. A Crossdressing Juggling Demigod, Part 3

_Last time on PISS (haha)..._

Percy walked up to Jason... He started hugging him and crying.

"Jason! I think I'm pregnant!" Percy yelled, "Annabeth's the father!"

"Leo, I just ate five cans of beans! Let me use the bathroom!"

"No pasarán! Usted cabra de grasa! Mierda en los arbustos ahora! Porque yo soy Gandalf, por lo que no pasará!" Leo yelled.

"I'M WALKING HERE!" Clarisse screamed gleefully.

_Now... the thrilling conclusion... but not really..._

* * *

><p>Harry hasn't come around Camp Jupiter in nine months... Percy was nine months pregnant with child... Grover was still holding it in against a persistent Leo who would not let him pass... Clarisse eventually got tired and stop walking. She decided to screw gravity and start floating. Unfortunately, she couldn't stop once she did... So now... she's living on Mars (corny joke, corny joke).<p>

So Percy was lying in the Argo II with Nico Di Angelo, "Nico..."

"What is it, sexy?"

"My... Wait, what?

"Oh... Nothing..." Nico blushed.

"Um... My water just broke..."

"Are you serious?"

"No. I'm Percy."

"We have to get to the hospital now!"

* * *

><p><em>At the hospital (in Washington)...<em>

"Percy! Push! Push! Push!" All of the characters in this fanfiction that actually count as characters yelled.

"AAUGH!" Percy screamed.

A few seconds later, came out a person out of Percy's anus... IT'S A BOY! He was a healthy seven pounds and 10 inches long. Nico looked at Percy, "So, what are you going to name him?"

"I'm going to name him after a person who has been a very significant person in my life."

"Aww! You're going to name him Nico?"

"Eww... No... I'm going to name him after my mother, Sally."

"Your son is going to be named... Sally..."

"That's right... But only if Sally could see his mother now..."

"I'm right here!" Nico yelled.

"What the Hades are you saying, Nico? I'm the mother!"

Annabeth came in... I can't find a creative way to describe her mysterious entrance..."MAKE ONE, YOU DUMBASS!"

Annabeth, she is the fairies' midwife, and she comes in shape no bigger than an agate stone. On the forefinger of an alderman, drawn with a team of little atomies over men's noses as they lie asleep; Her wagon spokes made of long spinners' legs, the cover, of the wings of grasshoppers; Her traces, of the smallest spider web; Her collars, of the moonshine's wat'ry beams; Her whip, of cricket's bone; the lash, of film; Her wagoner, a small grey-coated gnat, not half so big as a round little worm. Pricked from the lazy finger of a maid; Her chariot is an empty hazelnut, Annabeth was confused, "Um... better. Anyways, hi Percy."

"But... You're dead! How did you..."

"Spoilers! (You get cookie if you get the reference)"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the Woman in Black was about to get her revenge<p>

* * *

><p>I don't know...<p>

* * *

><p>I like using the line thing<p>

* * *

><p>Percy and Annabeth were leaving with their son, Sally. About to leave the entire fanfiction forever. But suddenly, the Woman in Black appeared, "NOOOOOO!"<p>

"What the hell?"

"HOGWARTS! ARISE!" The Woman in Black yelled.

Immediately, all the Gryf-uffle-yther-claws appeared. Leo suddenly got spooked and ran away yelling, "Los extraterrestres! Me han encontrado!"

But the wizards suddenly captured poor Leo and murdered Sally (Percy's son, not his mom). Then they disappeared with Harry yelling, "REVENGE! REVENGE! HAHA! REVENGE!"

Grover, fortunately, no longer had Leo blocking his way. So, Grover ran into the bathroom as quickly as he could.

Percy blinked a few times, "How many times has that happened to us?"

_Flashback..._

Then a frustrated Thalia threw Leo in the fire and started to smack him silly. Grover suddenly lost his whole left side of his body. A pregnant Annabeth looked at him in shock. But Grover shrugged it off, "I'm all right now!"

Annabeth then gave birth to her child and ran away to rest. A confused Percy ran after yelling, "Is that my child?"

Jason and Piper got a tank of Co2, suddenly Piper got gas. Jason repulsed took his sword as sliced Piper to pieces. A bruised and beaten Leo looked at Jason, "Feliz Navidad! Me gusta Fergie! Zeus es en lo alto del Olimpo! Apolo hizo las drogas!Me cansado. Imma ir a la cama!"

Then Leo fainted. Thalia looked at the pathetic site and smacked Jason. Chiron came in a prom dress yelling, "Zac Efron! Zac Efron!"

Mr. D came over and grabbed Chiron away with Red Vines. Red Vines, what the hell can't they do? Percy and Annabeth came back with their baby in Annabeth's arms. but suddenly, as they saw a chopped up Piper and and a fainted Leo. Annabeth dropped the newborn in the fire. Thalia then walked over and smacked Annabeth. Percy started to cry, "My son! My son!"

_End flashback..._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I couldn't find a good ending for this three-part thing... GOOD BYE!**


	11. I'M THE LEADER!

And so... six of the seven half-bloods have been discovered... Whoop-de-freaking-doo... The Argo II was flying around for a few practice runs. So all of them sat in a circle on the flying boat, Hazel stood up, "So... What are we supposed to do? Who's leading this quest?"

"I think I should lead this quest... Seeing as _I _am son of Jupiter. King of ALL the Gods. And I am most experienced." Jason stated boldly.

"You?" Percy cried, "You pathetic little Roman? I, Percy Jackson, the original hero that Rick Riordan wrote about... You are nothing!"

"You're both wrong! We're going to war with Gaia! I say, who could be better than fighting a war than a son of a war god?" Frank said.

"Veo gente muerta cuando duermo... Por favor, ayúdame..." Leo whimpered.

"SHUT UP, LEO!" They all yelled in unison.

"Piper McLean ¡Te quiero!"

"What did you say about me?" Piper said in shock.

With that Leo fell out of the boat screaming, "Mi amor! Usted me va a entregar!"

"Anyways... I'm the leader of the quest!" Percy yelled.

"War god for leader! I already have proven myself!" Frank yelled.

"Son of the king!" Jason cried.

"Wait... HOLD ON!" Hazel screamed.

Everyone was dead silent all of a sudden, "If Piper smacked Leo off the boat... Then Leo is the only one that can pilot this thing well..."

"What the Hades is you point, Hazel?" Jason asked

"Then, aren't we stuck here then?" Hazel asked.

"Oh..." Percy stated.

All of them sat on the boat in silence... It was in possible for them to get down, then Percy screamed, "FIRST ONE OUT OF THE BOAT GETS TO BE LEADER!"

Then everyone jumped out the boat onto the ground... If you know me, they all died... But since we still have nineteen planned chapters of this fanfiction... So... they lived...

THE END

* * *

><p>AN: Now some of you may be pestering why I wasn't updating in the past few days. It's because, my mom got married! So, the past few weeks were just preparation for the wedding... So, now I'll get back to my old self and start updating regularly... I try to update once a week. If not once every two weeks...


	12. Lack of a better one

**A/N: I'm too lazy to come up with a decent chapter... So you'll get this miserable excuse for one. Apologies in advanced.**

* * *

><p>Chapter name: Lack of a better one<p>

"There's a potato in sock who turned into french fry..." Percy sang.

"PERCY!" A voice yelled.

"Oh hi, Annabeth!"

"When are you actually going to do something in the series? I mean you didn't even do much in The Son Of Neptune."

"Oh, don't worry... They're doing FINE without me."

* * *

><p>Every main character lay at the feet of Gaea in a pool of blood. While the less important people lay screaming, "Get Revives!"<p>

"The PokeMart's out!"

"How can they be out?"

"They just are!"

"NOOOOO!" Chiron yelled.

"NOOOOO!" Octavian yelled.

"YAAAAAAY!" Grover yelled.

"...DIE..." Gaea whispered.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So... yeah... Sorry.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I promised to be publishing once a week. It's been relatively longer than a week. I've been busy with school, family, and my romantic partner. But I'll try to be back on my regular schedule.**

**Chapter 13: S#!t Demigods Say**

* * *

><p>Percy sat in an arm chair, "Oh hello all... I'm Percy Jackson, I'm a demigod... We are very dignified people... We have very common phrases... Most people call our phrases... Hmm... I can't say it... Olympian876 censor me... They call our phrases s#!t. But I disagree, it's amazing common phrases. So I will say those phrases to show you, dear readers, what we say..."<p>

_Greek Demigods_

"I'm a going to go on an ADVENTURE!"

"I wanna get claimed by Zeus!"

"MONSTERS!"

"I want a weapon!"

"Ooooh! Gold dust! Shiny!"

"I CAN'T READ!"

"Ooooh! A butterfly!"

"Ooooh! A minotaur!"

"Ooooh! Shiny gold thing!"

"No, fair mortal, this is all in your _imagination_."

"The monsters... They found me..."

"It's very simple. My father is Zeus. He's married to my aunt, Hera. Then, he conceived me and my half-siblings by cheating on her."

* * *

><p>"I, Percy Jackson has acquainted his self with both Greek and Roman demigods. So, now I will read common Roman demigod phrases..."<p>

_Roman Demigods_

"WAAAAAAAAR!"

"COOOOOOOHOOOOOORTS!"

"LUUUUUUUPA!"

"CONNNNNNNQUERRRRRRR!"

"ROOOOOOOOOME!"

"JUUUUUPIIITER!"

"MAAAAAAAAAARS!"

"SPQR!"

"I have a bar code on my arm! That means I'm for sale!"

"PRAAAAAAAEEETORRR!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I wrote this very quickly and never really got enough time to make it witty and clever. That's why this is not the real chapter. Keep reading and you'll get the real chapter.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13: The Real Chapter 13<strong>

And Leo sat there and cried...

* * *

><p>Olympian876 seductively lied down on his bed, "Hey, there you sexy, sexy reader. Here's the real chapter..."<p>

**Chapter 13: The Ballad of Leo Valdez**

****There once was a boy named Leo

He wished he could go to Rio

To pay for the trip, he did unzip

His pants, then he was nude

But that was yet not enough

Even though the girls saw him in the buff

Who paid for his trip, was a girl named Chip

Who really was truly a dude

When he finally got to Rio

He reunited with the trio

Jason and Piper, who got really hyper

When Jason pooped in his diaper

Suddenly, he pooped and Piper was happy

Because Jason's diaper became very crappy

Their dumb maid Mildred saw and was offended

From Underworld's pit, she ascended

They finished the trip, 'cause poor Leo broke his hip

Enraged at the event, Piper did strip

At the enjoyment at all of the guys

Looking at her strip almost made me hurl

(I couldn't find a rhyme, that fit with guys at the time... Surprise)


	14. THE FINALE

**This is the impromptu finale of the Percy's Incredibly Stupid Sequel! So, I can start work on a spinoff! Yup, I'm working on a spinoff! With who? Harry Potter! I am changing course with book series! In the spin-off, some cross-overs may occur (i.e. Percy Jackson, Hunger Games, and more!) So, I present to you, the finale  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14: The Finale (Percy's Several Alternate Timelines)<strong>

"I can't believe you're docking our series because you can't use your imagination!" Percy screamed.

"Yeah! Why are you doing this, you rotten ass!" Annabeth screamed.

"TAQUITOS!" Grover cried.

"Calm down! This may be the end of your series but you will still appear in Harry's spin-off!"

"And HARRY? You're making HARRY FREAKING POTTER THE MAIN CHARACTER? Man, you've changed..." Nico yelled in frustration.

"You know, I can easily make your lives in the series completely and utterly miserable with a few presses on a keyboard."

"Oh yeah? Oh yeah?" Grover screamed.

"I bet you I can survive ANYTHING you throw at me!" Percy yelled.

"Alright... You asked for it!"

* * *

><p><strong>Alternate Reality #1 (Percy marries Annabeth)<strong>

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman..."

"This is the happiest day of my life." Percy said joyously.

"It's not mine." Annabeth muttered.

"Annabeth, do you take Percy Jackson as your husband?"

"F*** NO!" Annabeth laughed and ran out of the chapel.

Percy stood there heartbroken, "Forever Alone... Mommy... WHY? WHY? WHY?"

* * *

><p><strong>Alternate Reality #2 (Percy marries Rachel)<strong>

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman..."

"I object to this union!" Rachel cried, "You cheated on me, Percy Jackson!"

"When?" Percy asked confused.

"Well, you'll cheat on me in the future! Then I find out 2.245 seconds later!"

"I wouldn't do anything of the sort!"

"Well, you don't have oracle powers like me, I know it will happen!"

Rachel ran out of the church sobbing. Percy looked at one of the bridesmaid, "Hey sexy, how you doing..."

Then Rachel ran back inside and screamed, "I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

She pulled a shotgun out of her ass and shot the minister, Percy, and the bridesmaid.

* * *

><p><strong>Alternate Reality #3 (Annabeth's a...)<strong>

Percy and Annabeth entered Cabin 3 making out, then they fell onto Percy's bed. Annabeth undid Percy's shirt and tossed it on the floor, "Percy... Oh... Percy."

"Come on, Annabeth... Let's do this.":

"I have to tell you something..."

"What is it, Annabeth."

Percy started to kiss her neck and started to work his way down. Suddenly, Annabeth cleared her throat and a deep baritone voice rang out, "Percy, I'm a guy."

Silence fell, "AAUGH!"

* * *

><p><strong>Alternate Reality #4 (Percy's Freakishly Good Sex Change<strong>)

Percy had finally done it. He now has what he's always wanted. Green eyes like daggers piercing your core, with a body like a coke bottle and a smile like an angel. Skin deep and rich like warm cocoa with flowing raven hair that gently falls down his back. Then, the best part of what he wanted: boobies. Round, enormous, double-D cup boobs. The plastic surgeon did wonders on his body. Then his clothes... Finally, he's out of those boring boy clothes. A tight navy blue tube top, short white miniskirt, and matching heels.

I won't write anymore because this is weird.

* * *

><p><strong>Alternate Reality #5 (Percy's Time Travelling Reincarnation)<strong>

Shortly after chapter four of Percy's Incredibly Stupid Adventures, Grover was still in the hospital. Grover saw a person sitting on his bed, she was around her mid-sixties and she was not exactly small, she was quite the opposite. She was dressed in a Camp Half-Blood and white super skinny jeans. Her hair was short, stopping at the bottom of her neck. Then, she spoke, "Hey goat boy, how's it going?"

"Who are you?" Grover replied disturbed.

"You don't recognize your best friend? Ouch, Grover... That hurts."

"Percy?"

"Of course, meat head. Who else?"

"What happened to you?"

"Well, I bet Olympian876 that he couldn't make my life miserable. So he portrayed me as this old chick."

"Oh..."

"Well, I wouldn't call her a chick. I have testicles and a hoohah. Wanna see?"

"Um... Maybe later," Grover said, "Is there a back story on how you got like this?"

Percy replied, "Nope. But you said you wanted to see it later."

Percy unzipped his pants and showed Grover... His hermaphrodite genitals, "I know... F**KIN' DISTURBING! AWESOME RIGHT?"

* * *

><p><strong>Alternate Timeline #6 (Percy marries Nico)<strong>

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this... other man."

* * *

><p>"I GIVE! I GIVE! YOU WIN! NO WAY AM I MARRYING NICO!" Percy shouted.<p>

Nico heard this and began to cry. Then, Percy and the others see him running into the woods. Olympian876 began to speak, "I love you all. Besides Percy..."

"I was your main character!" Percy talked back.

"You're going to talk back, huh?" Olympian876 questioned, "All right."

* * *

><p><strong>Alternate Reality #7 (Hermaphrodite Percy marries Gay Nico, Enraged Rachel, Transgender Annabeth)<strong>

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man, this man-woman, this woman, and this 'woman'."

Percy's old, wrinkled body was dressed in a white buttoned down shirt, black tie and jacket on his top half, the other half was a flowing white, bedazzled skirt. Annabeth had her beard neatly trimmed for the occasion, her dress was a blue, backless, halter dress. Rachel was dressed in a bright red dress. Then, Nico was in black leather briefs, Nico was the first one to speak, "I love you so much, Percy."

"GET OFF, NICO! HE'S MINE!" Rachel screamed.

"I HAD HIM FIRST!" Annabeth said in a low, angry voice.

* * *

><p>"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Percy screamed.<p>

THE END

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, that was fun wasn't it? I'll see you sometime in the summer for HARRY & Friends. Good-bye all!**


End file.
